fuckinq:

I went jogging this morning and i noticed a guy was following me and i was so scared lmfao my heart was pounding and then he finally caught up to me and said “hey you dropped 50 bucks” and i took it and started running and while i’m running i’m laughing because the 50 dollars didn’t belong to me

(Source: fuckinq)

Cake Boss in a nutshell…

barebackbearyak:

Customer: I want a nice chocolate cake for my young son, and he likes trucks, so could you maybe do a little frosting picture of a truck on the top?

Cake Boss: SOS WHAT WES GUNNA DO IS MAKE A GIANT TRUCK ENTIRELY OUTTA RICE CRISPIES AND COVA DAT IN FONDANT AND IZ GUNNA SHOOT SPARKS AND CATCH FIYAH, POSSIBLY KILLIN YOUR SON IN DA PROCESS.

urrplang:

colibooli:

almyro:

chinkerbelle:

Reasons I grab my boobs

  • running upstairs
  • running downstairs
  • running
  • stoked on life
  • scared
  • walking through my house in the dark
  • bored
  • boobs

do girls really do this?

yes. yes they do. 

it’s the best

(Source: schnephanie)

itsseamus:

me: *comes out of room*

parents: oh! lord have mercy! she came out of her cave!

me:

image

itssexualhour:

one time i was at a nightclub and it was really dark and i met a guy and we didnt really talk he kind of just like guided me to the dance floor and we grinded on eachother and made out and he whispered wanna go to my place in my ear and i was like yeah ok so we went outside to get a cab and we looked at each other in the light of the streetlight and he turned out to be my bio. teacher and he literally sprinted away